Solo Traveling

Yes, it has been a long time since I have written on this blog.

For the last few months, I have been busy with planning of a two months long trip to Cambodia, Thailand, Malaysia and Australia. Many different places to stay, eat and of course different activities.

I think this is the longest travel for me so far. It requires much more planning than a usual family trip. I don’t remember when I traveled solo last time. This is the experience I have been really waiting for.

Traveling Solo might not be for everyone. But I love the freedom, adventure and that excitement that goes with it. Especially, when you’re visiting new countries, meeting different people.

I have tons of ideas and stuff in my head that I want to write about but this trip is a priority now, so please bear with me.

Villa d’Este, Rome off the beaten path

Apart from the topmost things to do, I’m always looking for hidden gems (off the tourist map) when we visit a new country. I’m glad we found Villa d’Este in Italy, which is about an hour drive from Rome.

It is an Italian Villa nestled in the countryside with sweeping views of Rome. There are many gardens, hundreds of fountains, cascades and the grottoes.

It was a nice change from Rome as we got to see the Italian countryside and some olive tree plantations on our way.

The nearby town of Tivoli has many quaint streets, historical buildings and restaurants. It is a perfect place for a day trip for the entire family.

Click here for more pics of Villa d’Este.

A Little Tour of Italy

France and Italy are the two countries in Europe that I had always wanted to visit. Since we checked off France in 2011, Italy was next on the list. Rome, Florence and Venice were the cities on our itinerary. But due to sudden hospitalization of my father, we visited only Rome. I guess that gives another reason to visit Italy again.

Rome took me by surprise; I expected it to have usual big city issues like traffic, smoke, crowds etc. But surprisingly it is a very clean city with elegance, so much of history and diverse architecture.

It was easier to connect with Rome (than Paris). As soon as we got out of the airport, I noticed a brawl and the locals were cool about it. On the contrary, they were amused. The Italian men and their demeanor resembled Delhi guys in some way.

We stayed at a walking distance from Termini station. Yet our hotel was on a quiet street, thanks to Tripadvisor reviews..these do come handy when planning for a trip. Staying close to public transportation makes it easier to get around in an unfamiliar city.

In my opinion, Rome is an amazing place. It doesn’t matter where you stay; the city is dotted with the architectural marvels in all directions. Best is to just roam the streets, instead of hovering around the tourist hotspots.

A trip to Rome won’t be complete without visiting the Vatican, St Peter’s Basilica and the surrounding area. Make sure you start early and Wednesday is the best day to avoid crowds.

I was totally mesmerized by Vittorio Emanuele II monument; it doesn’t seem like ordinary mortals built it. So I highly recommend adding this to the list of places to visit in Rome.

Click here for more pics, it is almost like a Virtual Tour.

What’s bothering you…Pop?

Being away from family for too long can be emotionally taxing at times. Whenever I visited India, I saw my father’s body shrunk and weaker than the year before. These are the typical old age symptoms that we either try to hide or learn to deal with over time. Having him in the US wasn’t an option either since he preferred living in India.

“What’s bothering you…Pop”, this line is part of a dialogue between Al Pacino and Marlon Brando in one of the “The Godfather” movies. This was at a time when father had grown old and worried about his family and the business. I recall watching this movie (all parts) many times; such emotionally charged dramas were somewhat comforting whenever I felt alone in the US.

My father in a boat on the river Ganges. This was during a pilgrimage to Jagannath Puri (One of the four holiest places in India)

 

Earlier this year, I got several opportunities to spend quality time with my father. Alzheimer’s disease had taken toll on his memory; as a result personal hygiene was neglected. I remember cutting his overgrown nails (which were as hard as rock) and giving him a haircut. I just wanted to be with him, even though it meant doing nothing. I really felt the need of being with parents after living away from India for 14 years. My father showed emotions only when he felt sick or weak which was not very often.

He was from a generation where parents sacrificed everything to give their kids the very best (still it happens in India). Whether it was expensive tuitions to aid our studies or getting the best sports gear, he fulfilled all our demands. He even put his retirement savings at stake and sent me for my undergrad to Australia. I don’t think my parents could have done any better raising us, now I realize they were much ahead of their times.

My father was a great advocate of “Simple Living and High Thinking”. The atmosphere at home was a blend of country and suburban living. It was a strict non-smoking and non-drinking environment. The meals were simple and wholesome that consisted of all kinds of vegetables, pulses, fruits and nuts. We could never make a fuss, had to finish everything that was on our plates, no wastage of food whatsoever. No spicy meals, tea or coffee either.  I’m very thankful for such upbringing since the same is conducive to the lifestyle that we lead now.

Our relatives, family friends and acquaintances adored my father as he was a lighthearted person and made jokes often. He was an awesome cook, gardener and had high regard for discipline and cleanliness. Both the boys (my brother and myself) were given role models like and Maharshi Dayanand Saraswati and Swami Vivekananda, the great social reformers. Though our parents encouraged us to lead a holistic lifestyle but at the same time they gave us the freedom to think independently. They trusted us to be responsible for our actions. My father was a great support and inspiration even in the most difficult situations.

I’m glad the Lord allowed me to serve him in some capacity. He was very proud of our successes and it is only His mercy that he lived long enough to see everything. Some fond memories of him will make me cry, realizing that I can’t just pick the phone anymore and hear his voice or see him in person.

But I take great satisfaction that everybody loved and adored him and that he lived his life to the fullest (in material and spiritual terms) and above all left in such a way that he served the Purpose of Human Life quite well.

Hope, Encouragement and Peace

If I were to add one more word to the above list, it would be “satisfaction”; that too “Deep Satisfaction at Heart”. But these are usually not the emotions that one would experience in case of closest family member’s death.

I try to observe (or rather evaluate) every major event in life from both the angles: Material and Spiritual. I’m doing the same here i.e. in case of my father’s death. It is not a deliberate effort but something that comes naturally. A calling that makes me share this experience, to express what I feel.

It is my choice: I can be very upset, depressed or sad by sudden departure of my father. But instead I’m looking at this moment in light of Hope and as a result, I see the positives only. The death is inevitable, key is how one leaves this world. Easier to understand is the Material aspect.

My father was 73 when he passed away last month. He lived long enough to see full circle of life. All the joy of raising kids, seeing their education, career and successes. He retired in his late fifties, so had enough time to relax and pursue other hobbies. The joy of being with grandkids: my nephew was grown under his care for the most part.

All of us wish to die peacefully but often it doesn’t happen that way. We have to deal with the adversities of old age and disease. Though we don’t easily accept but there’s lot of suffering before we kick the bucket. The aches/pains, medications, surgeries and hospital visits become unavoidable. Many a times, the person would be helpless and bed ridden for years before giving up the body. My father escaped from all this for the most part. He did all the work himself, went for his daily walks and wasn’t on any specific diet. He had the energy of an 18 year old and he lived that way till the last moment.

Sometimes he used to worry thinking that none of his sons will be around in case something happens to him as my brother and I were out of India for a good number of years. But my brother decided to move back to India long back to be with parents. Our move back to India also allowed us to spend more time with my father. All of the family members and closest relatives were there with him during his last days.

Now coming to the spiritual side of things. I can say with conviction that how one departs from this world is what really matters at end of the day. And this usually depends on how we lead our lives. During last few years, I noticed my father spent more time reading scriptures and doing his prayers.

See Lord’s mercy, my father had the stroke in the hospital itself. All the critical support was readily available on site. The entire family and relatives were given enough time to be with him. We prayed for him and gave Lord’s mercy in the form of Ganges water, Tulasi and Prasad. He could have died in the hospital but instead Lord made the arrangement for him to leave his body very peacefully at home. Not only that, he took his last breath while hearing the Holy Names being chanted by us. He could have left in sleep or in our absence but that didn’t happen. Furthermore, he left during Pitru Paksha that ensures soul’s peaceful journey after this life.

There are many other details and events related to my father’s departure that proves His mercy being showered at every step. All of this was only possible by His perfect and flawless planning.

So what’s so encouraging and why I’m being Hopeful?  That He definitely makes all the arrangements (Be it Spiritual or Material) if we have faith in Him. Yes, it can be challenging at times but that’s the test of our Faith.

It would be quite appropriate to end this post with a relevant quote from Bhagavad Gita.

The Last Breath of My Father

Now that my father had arrived home, entire family was at peace. There is a huge difference between the atmosphere at home and of the hospital; anxiety and sadness rules ICU waiting area. The patient’s family, relatives and friends are usually confused, depressed and frustrated. On an average, few deaths a week seems to be a common routine.

Back home, I could see that my father had calmed down a bit. Though he was still unconscious (to a certain degree), his body and the subtle consciousness seemed to have reacted favorably to homely atmosphere. Now we could prepare his meals that were first offered to the Lord in a prayerful mood. I knew this might be my last chance to serve and take care of my father. Rest of the family felt same and all of us gave our best.

We took turns reading Bhagavad Gita, As It Is. I sat close to him and did my prayers (chanting Holy Names of the Lord) for at least few hours a day. The constant chanting of the Mahamantra was still going on by his side. I don’t know what inspired me, I also sang Gajendra Moksha Strota and Narayana Kavach. These prayers are very powerful for saving the soul. The devotee friends also prayed for my father and provided much-needed guidance.

It was around 10:30 pm, most of the family had gone to sleep. I was in my father’s room, preparing for his last injection of the night. All of a sudden, his breathing pattern appeared different. It was becoming more peaceful. I started chanting Mahamantra loudly and yelled out for Brinda, she was putting Haripriya to sleep. She left her and joined me in chanting. Surprisingly Haripriya didn’t cry, instead she came and stood by the door. I was focused on my father’s face, he was becoming serene and blissful. Somehow I became convinced that he was getting ready to leave his body. I still remember his last two breaths that he took very peacefully. There was some movement of his eyebrows, his forehead appeared yellow and that was it.

What a peaceful departure!! No erratic breathing, gasping or struggling for breath.

He didn’t bother anybody much. Next day happened to be Sunday, we did all the rites in morning. Everybody was there for his funeral, to say final goodbye.

We went to Haridwar and Kurukshetra, immersed my father’s ashes in the Holiest rivers: Ganga and Yamuna. As the soul’s journey doesn’t start till 13^th day (after leaving the body), I was determined to keep atmosphere spiritual. We completed all the rituals, no shortcuts or compromises whatsoever!!

There’s nothing that medical science or technology can do when it is time to leave, I witnessed this one more time. All the Seeking and practice of Spiritual science for the last 10 years came handy. Thanks to Him and His devotees for all the guidance and support.

All glories, all glories, all glories to Him whose ways are mysterious at times. But during this great trial, He didn’t leave any chance for doubt, fear, sorrow or pain!!

A Blessing in Disguise

My father had been in the ICU (Intensive Care Unit) for last two days. We met doctors the same morning that we arrived in India. The timing was perfect as they had enough time to review my father’s case during this period.

He was brain dead, half side paralyzed, his heart was working at about 15% of its capacity and he was put on ventilator. The doctor briefed on his condition: there is no chance for his survival, it is just matter of time.

But the family wanted to wait, to see if a miracle can improve his health. As I knew he might be in his last phase of life, I had to prepare him spiritually as well. I mentioned earlier in this blog that one of the key reasons for us to move back to India was to be with parents, especially in such times. So I made the arrangement for him to hear the Holy Name continuously and put Bhagavad Gita beside him. I started giving him Ganges Water and Tulasi daily.

The doctors played around for few days, giving us both the good and bad news. We were confused; sometimes happy to see my father move a bit but disappointed when there wasn’t any response. After few days, we decided to get him off the ventilator and shift him to a Non ICU room where we could spend more time with him.

The frustration was increasing as doctors gave us very little time. Also, it was hard to see my father taking tons of drugs, medicines etc. He started to have blisters, rashes and bedsores. We ended up having a rift with his doctor on the day my father was scheduled to move out of ICU. We had enough of the hospital atmosphere, it started to feel like corporate world where the focus is making the company profitable. After giving it some thought, we decided to meet the executive management and present our case. They listened to us with patience and promised help. Finally we all agreed to bring father home.

So the rift with doctor proved to be a blessing in disguise, it made us look into other alternatives like meeting the higher management and eventually bring father home. Otherwise we would have continued with ICU or in another room at the hospital.

Now next challenge was to setup an ICU like atmosphere at home for that we needed an expert guidance. We called few contacts but no help was ready to avail. See Lord’s arrangement, there was one male nurse with name Krishna Gopal who was looking after my father in the ICU. He was giving us details about my father’s health that other nurses or doctors wouldn’t share. The man was very caring and he made sure that the spiritual paraphernalia remained intact during change of bedding etc.

He was finishing off his shift and offered all his time to make arrangements for the medical equipment, gadgets, medicines, bed etc to be installed at home. Not only that, he happened to be off the next day and his next shift wouldn’t start till the day after. So we had him for two days, now my father was nicely situated and stable at home under his care.

Though we hired professional nursing services but still he trained us in feeding and cleaning of my father. I was little reluctant (as 24 hour help was available) but he insisted that I learn such tasks. These lessons proved to be of great help when the next nurse showed up late.